getting to be a woooos in my old age....xmas shopping

Now the normal manly thing to do about Xmas
shopping is to leave it all to the last minute. Leave it
to two hours before the shops close on Xmas eve....
and blitz it. Stride confidently into Boots or Marks
and hand off all the old biddies and arrive home
triumphantly with an enormously original present.
Last year however the memsahib seemed inadequately
pleased with the toolbox ( handy for all the jobs around the
house ) I bought her. The year before that she seemed so
moved by the brush I bought her she burst into tears. ( She
later confessed to be disappointed ! ). So this year I thought
I would put more thought into it.....and grapple with the great
unwashed on the 23rd of December. The problem with early
shopping is that you are not driven or inspired by panic....ergo
....the less original the present. I bought her a pair of overalls
and a bucket ( handy for all those jobs in the garden ). Now to the
ordinary straight thinker this might seem a bit unromantic but
the sublimal message is quite clear. .......I see you as part of the
house and my investment in the future. Its clear.
Im sure my choice this year has been the right one....I will
keep you posted.......If however I dont get my pea-pod as ordered
you may hear the angry shouts where you live. Why do you think
they have the Great Escape on every year.....is there no message
there....have you thought about that ? I dont think you have.
I wont know what to do with my time tomorrow...theres
always the Cannon.