my main man ups my Xmas bonus by a farthing

One of the main qualities of a caddie at club or tour level,
should be loyalty. An old fashioned idea where you should
believe that your man will eventually improve and you can
both move onwards and upwards towards the big money games.
A kind of mutual enrichment process. At club level of course you
rarely find something of quality that you can work with. Its often
a case of finding balls.....or ducking clubs that are thrown in anger.
Often its just a case of finding a bloke to caddy for that can
tolerate your foibles and you can tolerate their tempers. I have
some tolerable regular billies ( billy bunters-punters ). One who
I have mentioned before is the colourful Theodore Funnel, wit,
raconteur , and shot inventor. This man I have caddied for for many
years. He has never once taken any of the advice I have given him.
He sees me just as an amusing companion. He expects me to know the
names of his clubs ( Sexy sadie - 7 wood ) and to turn up on the first tee
sober. Not very demanding you might think.....and indeed you would be
right.
However the weekly journey....or magical mystery tour as I like to call
it is fraught with danger and stress. I have seen parts of the course where
even the greenkeepers dare not go......I have seen weird animals in dark
recesses of the track. I am regularly barked at by this evil tempered man
called all sorts of obscene names, and he calls me a miserable Welsh bastard.
But Im sure one fine day he will improve and that he will reward me
handsomely once Ive learnt the names of all his clubs. This year my Xmas
bonus increased from a guinea to a guinea and a farthing. He is a righteous
and wonderful man who I am sure likes animals. I have suggested to him that
perhaps he might find bowls more relaxing .....he told me to feck off. Quite
right too.
Blind loyalty....who feckin needs it ?