you can bring pearl ..shes a darn nice girl but dont bring Chilli

Years ago I used to tell a Copenhagen story about my
best mate Biffo....and his rather brutish attitude to women.
It was a kind of ....there but for the grace of God go I ..story.
Had I not been force fed Marylyn French...Greer...Erica Jong
by successive feminist girlfriends I would too have never progressed
from the welsh caveman stage. It was a simple story about an exchange
between myself and my Dublin mate. It went something like this
" Oh look at that beautiful Danish blonde over there , Biffo...I
wish I could strike up a conversation with her....I wonder how I
should approach her ? "
" Shes a feckin ride , Dave.....! "
I now have a similar type buddy in the form of Chilli. A rather
uncouth dishevelled fellow covered in tatooes and oozing attitude
from every pore. He likes Biffo stories as he sees in him a paddy
soul mate. Sitting in our new chintzy after work play area " Chatts ",
today I was waxing lyrical about the young barmaid , stealing
smiles from her , rearranging my mullet in a provocative way when
Chilli pipes up.
" You fancy that....dont you cloppy...you twat ? "
" Ill thank you to remember Chilli, my nom-de-plume is Hippy !"
" Im going to send her a rude text in a minute that will get
her going.....Ill tell you that you fecker !"
" And are you going to quote some Shakespeare or perhaps a
more modern work ...Chilli.....perhaps something by Donne...? "
I enquired
" Nah...nah....nah....Im going to send her a picture of me cock ! "
Well I didnt know what to say.......I just left with all the dignity I
could muster. I was glad to get back to Brighton where men are men,
( so they say ) and a lot of women are men, and some of the population
can tell the difference between stork and butter. And we are a lot happier
for it I must say. Goodnight