" Here I stand with a donut for a brain !" (Ian Dury )

The season is now over. So its back to you...both my readers.
Hi ! Always ? Good. So whats the problem ? It has been an awful
year weather wise.....it feels like it has rained all the time. I have
developed webbed feet ....an evolutionary thing I suppose...or it
could be a recurring attack of swamp foot. I have increased my
regular clientele by one. Still as they say ....Tout est bien. It would be all good
if I thought my new billy had any potential as a golfer. Alas it seems
he doesnt know his arse from his elbow. No matter.
It is that time of year when one has to appear a little forlorn to the
regular hackers as it is Xmas bonus time. My scheme of 2006 of adopting
a caddie for the winter was sadly very under subscribed .....so I have
to fall back on old favourites such as my ailing mothers life saving
operation......or my little nephews faces when they finally receive a present
of Uncle Dave. My cynical regulars who get a full blast of these stories
every year have become rather deaf to my urgent begging requests but I
am not discouraged . Im sure I can come up with a story that would make
the most experienced samaritan sob uncontrollably. Well see.
The lack of regular work at this time of year is a drag but the upside is that
it enables the regular rats ( caddies ) to draw breath and soak our battered feet
after another season of 1000 miles or so . Easy it aint. I have now become totally
enraptured in You Tube when I am at home.....so at least I have stopped the usual
journey from the golf course to the nearest pub. This is a good thing.
The bar " Shittes " is now becoming a distant hazy memory and thank feck
for that . I leave you calm and very very very sober. Skin up
At ease