Up against the wall Redneck Mother ( JJ Walker )

M is for the mudflaps she bought me for my
pick up truck.....O is for the oil I put on my hair.
Yes quite
Plainly it is true that one gets more like ones parents
as one gets older. But there are features you try to fight.
And one feature of my sadly absent folks is a imposition
that I will fight with venom. The tendency to understand
and start to be a fan of country music.
One day I was making my rounds in my company car,
and I thought I would drop in to see the folks....well they
did feed me for a number of years....it only seemed fair to
drop in and say how-do. Imagine my astonishment when
my father answered the front door dressed as Roy Rodgers,
and his subsequent greeting of YIHHHHAAAAAA ! altered
the shape of my barnet.
" What the feck you doing Dad ...." I enquired " Does
Mum know about this ...? "
" Your Mother got me into it .....she loves the whole
country and western , son...." he answered
" Yeh but Dad .....other people dont know do they..? "
I quivered.
My father dressed up like a cowboy at his age. Did he
want me to die of embarassment ? I had to sit down , and have
a beer just to settle me nerves. What was I to tell people ? My
grandfather had volunteered for the Alamo ? My Aunty Dilly
was part Cherokee ? There must be a story in here somewhere.
" Wheres Mum then ....? " I needed her reassurance that the
old fellah hadnt gone barmy.
" Shes upstairs getting ready herself....were going out.! "
he answered
" Please tell me you are not going to Safeways dressed like
that....Dad....come on mate get a grip.....you might bump into
an outlaw or a horse rustler.....and the fastest draw in Walton-on-Thames
.....you are putting a large overcoat on....eh....eh ? " I insisted.
" Wait til you see your Mother ...." he threatened
" Mums dressing up as well ...! ! ! ......This is almost too much..."
I quibbled.
" Were going to a country and western convention at Wembley
conference centre for the weekend.......there is nothing to be alarmed
about...." he reassured
When Mum came down the stairs dressed as Trigger I nearly shit
meself. They cantered off together into the setting sun and no more was
said about it . Just one of the many traumas I had in growing up. Im
glad I shared it with you .
Stay cool, wont you ?
( This whole anecdote is dedicated to Jerry Jeff Walker )