Tomorrows the day my brides gonna come ( Dylan )

Ive been married. To a Dane. It was a very
difficult experience. I had to divorce her though
...very childish woman...kept coming in the bathroom
and sinking my boats. To be fair I did have a tendency
to put her under a pedestal. She had a lazy eye ..
spent all my married life believing that there was
somebody behind me....very unnerving. As they say
you cant be happy all your life you have to get married
sometime.
But now I am back in old blighty , happily divorced I
should be able to relax but my ten years of married
purgatory have left me convinced that there is someone
behind me. And I should lead them somewhere interesting.
Follow me cocker and youll have a good time !
In the last week I have taken a few days off ...and
because I havent taken a holiday in two years I have
found it hard to unwind especially as I am off the pop. So
I lie on the couch wondering what to do. And then I saw
something that really moved me on the box....Big Brother
Celebrity House. There was this woman , with a pigs mask
on bullying an Asian woman...I think her name was Jade.
Her mother was one armed and her boyfriend a mute. Her
bullying cohorts were a scouser called Danielle who you
wouldnt trust with your car, and an Essex girl called Jo
who laughs in an evil way every time this Jade threatens
the Asian with her pigs mask. There is also a yank called
Dork, and a voluptuous sort called Cleo , and one of
the Jackson 5. They just kind of stand around a lot ,
whingeing and bitching and accusing each other of stealing
Oxo cubes. I watched it for an hour the other day and I
sware my head got pins and needles. Oh yes , there is a
gay Welshman as well who wanders round bare chested
and flicking his hair .....presumably to give the whole thing
a surreal feel.
Dork the yank looks very confused as the last time
he was in good old England he was lucky enough not to have
bumped into these types . In fact the last time he was in
Europe homosexuality was illegal in Wales and sheep were
compulsory. In this Pc world ....is there such a thing as
Moronism ? Or Pig Ignorantism ? When one cant call a
spade a shovel ......so we are all creeping around guarding our
loose mouths ( I know I am ) . If somebody doesnt tell you
you are a moron ...how are you supposed to know ..and improve
accordingly . Jack Weedy.....youre a moron....there..Ive done it..
Im from the old school...thank God.
Its a sad and beautiful world ( Roberto Bennini )