I saw Noah building an arc in the woods.....

Were all doomed ! The scourge of the winter....
the weather. And there was I thinking that due
to the greenhouse effect and global warming we
were due for a tropical climate during the winters
now. What do I know ...Im no Michael Fish. Where
is " soppy bollocks " Nigel when you need him ?
" Soppy bollocks " was one of the shack regulars
years ago and every morning he used to give us his
run down of imminent south westerly storms . He
was a bundle of laughs. If he was to win the lottery
he would find something to whinge about.....ie " I
have to go and pick up the money myself man and I
know for a fact that on the Ascot -Waterloo line there
are delays on Tuesday........"
He was 37 and he still lived in his mums house.
She used to go on holiday a lot. After four hours with
Nigel as your caddie you felt like phoning the Samaritans.
But at least you knew that your clubs would be clean. He
was meticulous about a golfers clubs. Hed have them
shining . He even got a bit narky if you wanted to use one
of them , as hed have to clean them again.
His girlfriend was Stella ( Artois ), and although he
should not have drunk as he was diabetic and epileptic, he
did. Many a time I had to pour him into a cab....only to
find he had fallen out the other door. He would have
been useful on a wet day like today. We could have stuck
him in a puddle and done our washing.....
The old jokes are the best.....and believe me