Edumacation ..thats the name of the game.....

Joining any long term revered institution is
never easy . I remember years ago when I
put my name forward for the Hells Angels ,
they wanted me to wear some jeans that were
covered in the other gang members excrement.
They also encouraged me to have sex with some
fright who was always rolling joints in the clubhouse.
I hardly knew the gel. It didnt really work out but I
was told later these are called initiation rights...or
rituals. Very important.
Now of course the Dale is a long established , and
most famous institution. And there are a group of chaps
there that have to go through some tough training before
they can call themselves ....Dale Dudes. This unfortunate
group are called the assistant pros. They are employed by
the immaculate and upstanding head pro....and caddieshack
supervisor...the one and only Hamish Mixwell . He wont
have any scallywags or raggamuffins working on his team.
They have to be well turned out , ship shape, punctual,
and well versed in dealing with top toffs. At the moment
his team consists of Justin, Mark , and David. A laudable
group of young naive trainees. They arrive at the Dale
knowing that just the mention of the Dale will brighten
their CV's....naively unaware of the trials to follow.
Lurking menacingly 10 yards from the pro shop lies
the caddie shack....the latin quarter of the Dale. During their
first week the young pros will park their cars away from the
main clubhouse and walk past the shack....but as time goes
on it is noticeable that they park nearer and nearer the
clubhouse just to avoid any abuse . It is part of the training
to be abused by caddies.....on or off the course.
The first thing the caddies do is to think of an appropriate
nick name for the new boys until we find one that really irks.
Justins nom -de-plumes have included " Time "...." Case "...
or even Barnsley which is an extension of his surname. Marks
was easy and immediately irritating for someone who takes such a
pride in his appearance....it was " Skid ". For us lowly caddies to infer
that his underpants were anything but pristine was a deep insult
immediately. David....our newest victim was a bit more difficult,
but his surname is Waters.....so now we call him " Running "....
a Red Indian referance. These nick names are not final and go
on developing.
Clearly its every assistant pros dream to get a client who
believes that they are inspired teachers a la Butch Harmon, and
their excited rich client will run off and tell his mates over dinner
at Whites , or Ascot, or Hendon boat regatta....or even Pontins.
But to lead their prospective ticket out of abject poverty down to
the range they have to pass the caddie shack. Its not easy.....
and one day I will tell you why......
......to be continued